Welcome to the website of Ruby May, international illuminatrix, dream-weaver and purveyor of permission and possibilities...

Ruby offers events and sessions around the world on the theme of intimacy, play and authentic expression, weaving together spaces where we can find the magic in the mundane, the sacred in the profane, our power in our deepest vulnerability, and witness our magnificence unfold…


Find out more about Ruby


Current Events

Kai Ehrhardt & I are delighted to announce another Authentic Eros :: Beyond Gender introduction weekend, followed by a one year training, starting in February 2016!

Where in your everyday life do you have the time and space to deeply connect to yourself, exploring questions, desires, interests and issues around your self, sex and intimacy? Where can you discover your body as a gate into more aliveness, pleasure and meaning? Where can you experiment with new steps towards passion, vulnerability and power; or inquire about Eros as a phenomenon beyond sexuality – the expression of life and spirit in you, others and the world around you?

Authentic Eros provides such a space.


A new collaboration with London Faerie on Slow Kink, Sensuality & the Undefended Heart, travelling through Berlin, London and Copenhagen. Details here.  

Elsewhere is an evolving experiment in permission, creative participation and conscious connection. A temporary portal of possibility where a group of strangers come together to enter into the unknown and allow the truth of each moment to unfold…

What happens when we elevate each other through the medium of play? When the wanton and wild meet self-responsibility and self-awareness? Who are we when we dare to reveal our most unguarded self?

Enter Elsewhere

You are warmly invited on a journey deep into the human psyche and heart: an embodied exploration of the nature of eros and desire, our relationship to power, vulnerability and the simple beauty of play.

In Love and Service is a weekend workshop exploring the erotic alchemy of female dominance and male service* and its potential for pleasure, expansion and personal and collective healing.

Find out more

Women in the Woods is a weekend retreat, designed for all wildness loving women, to take time out of every day life and draw replenishment and inspiration from the woods.

Led by wild artist and forest school practitioner Philippa Snell, and women’s embodiment and empowerment coach Ruby May, the weekend will offer a guided journey into nature connection, sacred ceremony and wild, artistic expression. Find out more…

Lucid is a soulful, playful and dynamic Sunday afternoon / evening party –  a place where music, dancing, community & natural high vibes roam wild & free. Find out more


What is wild cannot be bought or sold, borrowed or copied.

It is.

Unmistakeable, unforgettable, unshamable, elemental as earth and ice, water, fire and air, a quintessence, pure spirit, resolving into no constituents.

Don’t waste your wildness: it is precious and necessary.

– Jay Griffiths


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I currently offer a variety of different one-to-one sessions to men, both in person in Berlin, and internationally via Skype. These vary from intimacy coaching sessions to exploring your kink sessions.

A session is an opportunity to invest in your own self-discovery, pleasure, fulfilment and growth. It is an invitation to experience a space free from judgements and expectations, where you can allow yourself to be guided and experience the power of someone holding the space just for you.


Find out more.


A selection of video talks & interviews with Ruby May

Reflecting and Visioning for the new year

  Time to light some candles and take the time to reflect on the past year and visioning for this coming year! Here are some questions I’ll be using that my dear friend Tiu De Haan suggested, maybe you want to use them too?         2015...

Taboo: the hidden agenda

Recently I’ve been musing over the complexity of our relationship with the taboo and what lies beyond the surface. Society’s relationship with sexuality is quite obviously permeated with taboo, more so anything that goes beyond a very narrow window of what is...

Sexual Shadow Healing

What are sexual shadows? Our sexuality comes in so many colours, shapes and forms. Many of us are turned on by things that go beyond the narrow bandwidth of what society deems as ‘normal’. Some of us are turned on by specific feelings: such as the feeling of...

Don’t call me ecosexual

It’s true – I love nothing more than to lie cradled and suspended above the ground, thighs wrapped around the gnarled old trunk of a tree. I relish the sensation of this powerful, phallic force emerging from the ground, pressed against my pelvis and sending tiny...

Fucking trees

An erotic encounter was not something I expected as I climbed into the beckoning branches of an old avocado tree, 5 years or so ago, whilst woofing in New Zealand. I had been working in various organic farms, my delicate city princess feet toughened by weeks of...

Conscious Kink

Rather than suppressing or acting out in unconscious and self-destructive ways, Conscious or Sacred Kink is the embodied exploration of the full spectrum of our sexual expression in a consensual, risk-aware and conscious way. It is a source of great personal and...

The Darker side of Lust

The Darker Side Of Lust It’s always the same. The topic of rape fantasy comes up in a workshop and a palpable sigh of the relief ripples through the circle, as each woman realizes she is not alone. A study in the Journal of Sex Research has estimated that up to 57...

Coming out: my love of public hard ons

There is something about these images that touches me. Male desire is generally something that is boasted about: the more potent you are, the more of a man you are.  Unless of course it comes at an inappropriate time or place. There is something about the volatility...


Wow. Wow. Wow. Such an indescribably beautiful and powerful (and fun!!!) experience. What a precious gift you are Ruby May. Such an honor to witness you lovingly encourage and hold space for each person to embrace themselves as their own precious gift. Truly extraordinary

Justine Speed

Workshop producer

Ruby May creates profoundly safe spaces for people to explore themselves, their desires, their sexuality and the possibilities of play. Through her presence she offers permission for participants to go deeper into the truth of who they are, in all its messy marvellousness. Offering no easy answers, she creates spaces where our humanity can shine and we can open up to each other with our vulnerability, our magnificence and our complexity intact. I highly recommend Ruby to anyone who wants to become a richer, deeper, shinier version of themselves.

London Faerie


Ruby has such a deeply heart held way of facilitating, like the air that you don’t notice keeps you alive. She radiates and is an invisible weaver. I saw profound shifts in both myself and others that are deep and expansive.

Lotus Kruse

Coach, mentor, speaker

Ruby is an inspired and inspiring leader. In the workshops I have attended with her, I have found myself able to connect with issues that terrified me at the outset. Her gentle and thoughtful approach is clearly the result of years of study and experience. And yet she manages to hold space with a light touch and a sense of joy and humour.



The fusion of sacred sex with conscious BDSM is the new frontier of sexual and spiritual growth. Ruby and her team are the perfect caring, creative, and courageous facilitators to nurture and expand this work.

Barbara Carellas

Author of ‘Urban Tantra’ and “Ecstasy is Necessary”

All my chakras have aligned, my heart has burst open like a ripe peach. This has been a remarkably quick but deep journey through resistance, old prejudices and isolation. At 61, I have opened to more aliveness, joy and potential. 



As I keep going over my experiences this weekend I discover that in addition to the actual focus of the workshop, I’ve also learned a ton of healthy habits about how to interact with other people on a number of levels. From a professional level as a facilitator or teacher, to a personal level as a supporter or witness to the private level of how to communicate with an intimate partner with body, breath, voice and eyes. Life lessons. This all has immense value to me.



The level of trust and intimacy, astounded me and gave me permission to explore those parts of myself that are often hidden. Not only to explore, but to celebrate them, be nourished by them. I danced with the reality of my illusions, I found joy and laughter in my vulnerability, I transformed my shame into strength. Forever grateful



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